There's a bit of common wisdom out there that says this:
"If a husband is sacrificially loving his wife consistently, her natural response will be to submit to him."
I think the person who wrote that forgot that we're sinners. Those commands are there because our natural inclination is to do the opposite.
A husband's natural inclination is not to sacrificially love his wife. That can only be done as, in the Spirit, he puts to death the deeds of his body.
Same goes for wives. They won't submit, except by the Spirit. It may be easier to submit to a loving husband - but it's the same internal, sinful, inclination and desire that must be overcome by submission to Christ.
So men - don't try to be a good husband and love your wife so she'll submit. Love your wife for her holiness to honor Christ.
And women - submit to your husbands as to the Lord - for his glory. Period.
Both - don't try to do it by yourself - depend on the Holy Spirit's power and choose to value Christ over yourself.
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