Why the strict requirements on deacons? And their wives? And kids? 1 Timothy 3:11-13

(11) Likewise also their wives must be dignified, not slanderous, temperate, faithful in every respect.

We’ve already seen that the role of ‘deacon’ in the Church is very important – they play an official role in the Church – being the hands and feet of Jesus in an official, ordained way. They are called to carry out Jesus’ mercy and love to those he has brought into his own body.

And so they are official agents of Jesus’ love for his Church. Thus, they must meet certain character requirements.

This verse details a few things about their wives. It’s clear from the early church literature that deacons wives served with them; they acted as a team. And so deacons’ wives were required to behave in certain ways. Interestingly, God begins this verse with ‘likewise,’ indicating that deacons’ wives have very high standards to meet as well.

They must be dignified, not slanderous, temperate, faithful in every respect. These are very broad categories – but to break it down – their manner of living must reflect well on Jesus. They must be able to hold their tongues, being careful in what they say, to speak only as Jesus would have them. They must be temperate – not pursuing pleasure in this world. And they must be faithful in all respects – not having any glaring disobedience – blameless as their husbands are required to be.

(12) Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well.

Remember that a Christian marriage is to reflect the love and relationship between Jesus Christ and the people for whom he died, his bride, the Church (Eph. 5, Rev. 21). As Jesus is a ‘one woman man,’ so must a deacon be.

And as Jesus gently, lovingly leads his household by his Spirit and his word, so must a deacon.

(13) For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.

Now, here’s where God gives us the rationale for these stringent requirements – even over the deacons’ family.

Here are the reasons:

A deacon who serves well gains a good standing for himself.

A deacon who serves well gains great confidence in the faith that is in Christ.

Note that these are for deacons who serve well – in contrast to those who do not.

The heart of these requirements is to make sure that the Church appoints deacons who serve well. We want the Church to show how great Christ is to all people. And so our elected officials are to behave in an exemplary manner.

If a deacon serves well, the Church and the world will look up to him. Is this not what we want? Christ to be honored?

The second reason goes along with the first – a deacon who serves well gains great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus. In other words, as someone who is called to be a deacon serves well, he grows in confidence, in boldness. He gets more courageous regarding the public proclamation of the faith of Jesus Christ. Consider Stephen in Acts! His role was to feed widows – but he was the first Christian martyr.

And so what’s the overall reason for these requirements? Deacons represent Jesus. When someone is called to an official Church role, they are called to represent Jesus in a particular way – and when they do so well, their role is magnified so that Jesus will be magnified all the more – even if it means that, like Stephen, the deacon may die.

Summary
1) Deacons’ wives, serving alongside deacons, must also represent Jesus well.
2) Deacons, like pastors, must show gentle, loving, authoritative, Christ-like leadership in their homes.
3) The reason for the strict requirements God places on deacons is that deacons end up representing Christ in an official capacity – growing in standing and boldness to those who need to hear about Jesus and be saved.

Prayer
Father, there are some strict requirements in this list. And beyond those strict requirements is the call to boldly, lovingly, winsomely bear witness to Christ in word and deed.

So first, thank you for orchestrating my hearing of the gospel from those who serve you. Thank you for granting me faith and Christ’s righteousness – for raising me to life and rescuing me.

Cause me to lead my household well, as Jesus’ has led us so lovingly. Cause me to serve you well so that Jesus will be honored – not me.

And it’s united to Jesus that I ask for these things – amen.