Do NOT ignore needs in God's Church! 1 Timothy 5:3-8, part I

Frankly, when I’m with people from church, I don’t mentally process things before I say them.  I just say them.  They talk; I react. 

Sure, maybe there will be a little consideration of what I say before I say it.  But, I think if we’re honest, it’s very little.  And I think if we’re honest, when we consider how we treat people, even in the Church, it’s rarely on the basis of the Gospel. 

The Scripture we’re about to look at has to do specifically with how to treat widows in God’s Church.  And this is a subject we need to know about.  However, this passage also gets at the heart of how we treat people who are in hard circumstances. 

It’s easy to feel compassion on people in hard circumstances.  Yet, this passage goes beyond mere compassion. 

We are to treat Christians in hard circumstances in light of the Gospel. 

Honor widows who are truly widows.  But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God. 

            She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day; but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. 

            Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach.  But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 

This is a situation within God’s Church – God’s household.  Everyone involved has been brought together by the good news about Jesus rising from the dead – and salvation in him.  God has united this group as a family.  He has loved us, and expects his children to treat each other like he treats them, for his glory. 

And hard things have happened.  In that culture, widows were fairly helpless.  They couldn’t just get a job and take care of themselves!  They were financially lost if they had no husband. 

Sin exists in the world and it has brought with it death and suffering.  We can ignore those realities, or we can deal with them. 

And Timothy, the Pastor, is commanded to deal with them and to give commands to the Church regarding their care!  “Honor widows who are truly widows” – meaning take care of them - v. 4.  “Command these things” – v. 7.  This is the family of God – let us love who God loves.  We are not permitted to ignore our siblings in need and in pain. 

Yet, we must, in love, evaluate each specific situation.  We’re not allowed to be intellectually lazy or to make default choices. 

First, Pastor Timothy is told to evaluate whether the widow in question has family members that can take care of her. 

 If you’re like me, your instant thought is, of course – if someone can be off church assistance, that’s best for the budget!  But that’s not what Paul has in mind here at all. 

The heart of the issue is

1)  That children show godliness, that is, act like God and glorify him

2)  That children make a ‘return’ to their parents, honoring their position and authority – a thing that God has granted and used for their good

3)  That God be the ultimate object of this – it’s for his pleasure, not ours

4)  That Christians confirm the Gospel in how they live – you can’t claim to love God and not love your neighbor – especially those closest to you – in your own house! 

Here’s the situation in a nutshell –

A person, in this case, a widow, is in grave need. 

Her closest relatives, if believers, are to be motivated by the Gospel.  They are free in Christ from sin and from this world.  They are loved by God and now love others – especially those closest to them.  And they are to show God’s love by physical care for their relatives – for the glory and pleasure of God. 

If there aren’t believing relatives, though, the Church as a whole – as the family of God, as those adopted in Christ – must glorify God by taking care of those who are hurting. 

The widows themselves are to be evaluated as per their particular needs, however.  That, next time, God willing.  

For now, let’s consider a few questions. 

1)  Do I take action on needs I see in God’s family? 

2)  Do I consider what the Gospel would imply that I do within God’s family? 

3)  Do I care for my own family for the sake of the glory of God? 

Father, I do not love like I should.  I think too highly of myself, and I think too much about myself and my needs and wants and happiness.  But that is not demonstrating the love of Christ, and I’m sorry. 

            Thank you that Christ loved us and gave himself for us – and that in him, you’ve adopted us and given us a certain inheritance. 

            In light of that promise, cause us to walk in a way like Jesus did, in love, so that you will be glorified, and the Gospel will be lifted high for the salvation of all your people. 

            In Christ I pray, amen.  

Married Couples Sleeping Separately

Josh Yergler pointed me to this article from the NY Times.

Apparently one in four married couples sleep in separate beds.

There are potentially multiple factors at play here, yet, with Scriptures' referencing of keeping the marriage bed pure (Hebrews 13:4), it's assuming of cohabiting (Romans 7:1-6), it's enjoinder to free and frequent sex (1 Corinthians 7), and it's celebration of really good and enjoyable sex (Song of Songs) - this is a sad situation.

Yet, it's a situation that can only be addressed with the Good News of Jesus Christ.  Two idolatrous, pleasure-seekers living together will inevitably grow apart, unless their pleasure is firmly in what Christ has promised them.

The danger of being in church...

Here's an excellent article about 'over-churched kids.' 

It's great to read if you have kids - but it's also great to read if you've been a Christian for a length of time.  You may partake in some of the symptoms!

Do you love who God loves? Really love them? 1 Timothy 5:1-2

Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters in all purity. 

Now Paul begins to give Timothy specific instructions on how to deal with certain types of people. 

We should remember that God has given the pastor instructions on addressing people with the Gospel – and now talks about relationships with different types of people – so that the Gospel will be lifted high in the Church. 

Here are a couple interesting things about this text:

1)  God seems especially concerned that pastors not rebuke older men sharply, though that command applies to all groups.  Pastors should rebuke no one sharply, especially older men. 

Why might that be?  Simple – real authority structures exist in families and in communities.  Older men are the ones who have authority in their families and typically in the Church.  To rebuke an older man sharply would be to disrespect him and the position that God put him in.  

2)  God gives the young pastor an analogy to family relationships.  People in the Church should be treated as family members.  Why? 

First, because they are.  Paul wrote Timothy so that he’d know “how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the Church of the living God…”(1 Timothy 3:15). 

It really is family, because God really adopts people in the person of Christ.  Everyone who is in Christ, through faith in him, is a child of God (1 John 3:1). 

Secondly, because there is no unit on earth as typified by love as the family.  And God is love towards all his children, and his children thus must love one another.  This family is characterized by love. 

3)  That’s why ‘sharp rebuking’ is replaced by ‘encouraging.’  Now, that doesn’t mean pastors are to just come alongside people and say, ‘good job!’  What’s implied here is that a behavior needs to change. 

But that said, God tells us that the way that change should happen is through encouragement – partnership – entering into the situation with the person to help them with it. 

Why?  Because Jesus was manifested in the flesh – alongside of us – and took on our sin and died – and was vindicated in the Spirit – in his resurrection – bringing us with him to glory. 

There is no judgment from Christ – let there be none from us.  There is compassion and love and entering into the thick of things from Christ towards his people.  Shall pastors do any different?  Shall pastors be more harsh than their Lord? 

4)  Young women, the pastor is commanded, are to be treated uniquely, in all purity.  Timothy was a young man.  He especially is warned to be pure with young women – since the temptation to fall into lust or any kind of sexual sin will be greater with young women. 

And note that Paul says ‘all’ purity.  He emphasizes how stringent Timothy must be – how on his guard he must be.  There must be no impurity or inconsistency or hidden agenda or mixed motives in his dealings with young women – not because young women are ‘bad’ or something – but because Timothy, and pastors in general, are men, susceptible to temptation. 

How should we summarize these things? 

1)  God has adopted all believers in Christ into his family through Christ, his Son. 

2)  He has done this in love, and caused us to be a family marked by love. 

3)  Pastors represent Christ in this family in Christ’s absence, and are to come alongside everyone to help them out of their sin – not condemning, but loving and helping people. 

4)  Those relationships and conversations will look different, based on what sort of family member each person is. 

5)  These things do apply to all of us – as we speak to other members of God’s family. 

Father, I admit that when I see sin in the Church, my first response is not to think of the love that you have for each of us – that you punished Jesus for us and have adopted each of us in him, perfectly and forever.  My first response is often to ‘fix it’ – to fix behavior rather than to give your love to a person who is missing out on you. 

I think in part that’s because I believe I’m either righteous – or at least more righteous than them.  Forgive me, Father!  I’m a sinner…  And I think it might also be because I want to believe myself to be a Savior – and yet, only Christ is our Savior. 

Help me to love your people well – since you love us and are our Father – and you’ve chosen to adopt us in Christ because of your love. 

I ask these things so that Christ will be lifted up by the Church and honored among the peoples!  Glorify yourself, my Lord! 

In Christ I pray, amen.  

Is Christianity Practical? 1 Timothy 5:1-6:2; 6:17-19

It's very common to have a set of beliefs or doctrines challenged by a questioning of its practicality. Does it actually change your life? Does it affect how you live? Does this worldview actually show up in the way you live your life?

The reason for that challenge is simply that, many times, a person's lifestyle is clearly inconsistent with his stated beliefs. We've all seen the pastors who've fallen because of sexual scandal, and we've all heard the stories of religious 'hypocrites.'

Part of that judgment against Christianity in particular can be unfair - because Christians claim to be guilty of sin!

Part of that judgment against Christianity in particular, however, is fair. The reality is that cultural Christianity doesn't change lives.  Growing up in church doesn't change one's life. Claiming to be 'Christian' doesn't change your life.  Saying a certain set of words in agreement with truth the Bible might teach doesn't change your life.

The good news is that Christ, on the other hand, does.

In chapter 4 of 1 Timothy, Paul gives Timothy instructions about preaching the word of God. He says to the young pastor, "Command and teach these things" (v. 11) and "...train yourself for godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come"(vv. 7, 8).

Then, beginning in chapter 5, Paul begins to give Timothy specific ways to instruct different types of people in the congregation - older men, younger men, older women, younger women, widows, slaves, and the wealthy.

Before delving into the specific sections, I think it's helpful to think through a few general themes that this section brings up.

1)  People are different.  Not to state the obvious, but they are.  They have different needs.  They have different lives.  They have different perceptions of reality.  They will need to obey commands differently depending on their situations in life.  They're going to be tempted by different things.

Pastors thus need to be mindful of who they're addressing.  They need to think through the person's particular needs, desires, sins, and situations.

And so do the rest of us, as we engage them in holy conversation.

2)  Yet, people's different situations and different lives are to be addressed by the same Gospel!  How a pastor applies the realities of the Gospel may change - but the Gospel does not.  "Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching"(4:16).  "If you put these things before the brothers, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, being trained in the words of the faith and of the good doctrine that you have followed"(4:6).

Thus, pastors, and the rest of us, must address each other's life situations with the Gospel itself.  We'll see specific ways Paul does this in this section.

The Gospel is good news of eternal life freely given because of Jesus Christ.  People's situations are not addressed with naked command - but with good news that salvation has been given to them.

3)  These commands are unified on another repeated theme - the end, or goal, that the Gospel be seen by those in the church, as well as outsiders, as a good thing.  In other words, the lives of Christians should make the Gospel look good.  Or to put it in a negative way, the lives of Christians should not make the Gospel look bad.

The heart is that the Gospel be lifted up - that Christ be lifted up and shown to be glorious and worthy of our allegiance.

Paul's reason for writing Timothy is that "you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God - a pillar and buttress of truth."

The Church exists to hold high the Gospel!  And Paul then gives the confession of the Church - the good news that is held up for all -

"Great indeed, we confess, is the mystery of godliness:

He was manifested in the flesh,
vindicated by the Spirit,
seen by angels,
proclaimed among the nations,
believed on in the world,
taken up in glory!"  (3:15-16)

So what are some practical implications of these things?

1)  We must consider people as individuals.  We must listen.  We must get to know their specific situations.  Loving them implies this.  Loving them implies that we take the time to understand what's going on - that we don't assume we know exactly what they should do.  We must take the time and effort to consider them.

To do less is unloving and lazy.

2)  We must address people with the Gospel.  We must desire their good - we must want them to know Christ more than all things!  We must realize that only he is the Savior - that we are not.  We must recognize that behavior modification is not good news.

We must genuinely love them and give them the Savior.  Not use them and seek to save them ourselves.

3)  We must ultimately give commands so that the name of Christ will be honored.  It's really easy to be pharisees and just love 'righteousness' - without really wanting to please Christ personally.  It's really easy to try to fix behaviors that we just don't like - that make us upset - rather than seeking to genuinely glorify Christ.

Holy Father, I confess that I'm a sinner.  It is often not my aim to please you.  It isn't my aim to honor Jesus Christ.  I do not love my neighbor well.  I do not consider them; and so often, I do not give them Jesus!  


O God, I'm sorry.  


I thank you that Jesus' resurrection is my vindication because of your giving it to me.  I thank you that you love us so much.  That you lift up the Gospel and save us.  That you love us individually in Christ.  


God, glorify Christ in me and among us so that we love each other, point each other to the cross of Christ, and honor you.  


Because Jesus died for my sins and rose from the dead I ask - amen.  

Impurity in life or doctrine can damn you... 1 Timothy 4:16

Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching.  Persist in this, for in doing so you will save both yourself and those hearing you. 

This is Paul’s concluding statement in the section of his letter in which he’s commanding Timothy to preach the Bible, and thus, the Gospel, accurately – and more, to correct those who are contradicting it. 

This is the pastor’s job!  And the verb tenses give us a clue as to how emphatic Paul’s commands are – these activities are to be continuous, regular, and the norm – not occasional, not special, not sporadic! 

Here, pastors are commanded to be keeping watch over themselves and the teaching.  This means constant observation.  Constant guarding.  Constantly making sure nothing is making cracks in the wall!  Making sure there are never fault points – and being ever vigilant in doing so. 

When God uses the words ‘yourself’ and ‘doctrine’ he lists two distinct things. 

‘Yourself’ in this context refers to godliness of life – being an example of holiness to the Church before God in all things.  So, it is possible to not keep a close watch on oneself.  This takes daily examination and confession.  It takes daily meditation on God’s word and prayer to expose the chinks in one’s armor.  It takes constant vigilance and a diligence in never compromising.  It takes constant examination in light of God’s holy word – constant confession of sin – and constant repentance.  Pastors must be always engaged in these things. 

‘The teaching’ here refers to God’s word being proclaimed – it refers to preaching and teaching in the life of the Church – and specifically – the content of what is taught.  Pastors are commanded to be ever vigilant about what is preached in church!  And what is believed.  The content of preaching must be the Bible – not the thoughts of a man.  And this must be guarded – which means that the pastors thoughts must be guarded.  He must be confined to seeking wisdom for salvation in the Scriptures.  Every line, every sentence he teaches must be teaching what the Bible has already said.  He must guard himself against believing he is wise or has something worth saying that doesn’t come from Scripture.  He does not. 

Paul gives us the reason that Timothy is supposed to be on his guard – being on guard saves the preacher and the hearers! 

There’s much to take note of here. 

First, life and doctrine (teaching), are not separated in experience.  Paul says, ‘persist in this,’ not, ‘persist in these things.’  It is a single act to guard life and doctrine.  They must and always do run together. 

Second, Paul reiterates that this is to be constant activity for pastors. 

Third, salvation results from a pastors guarding his life and teaching.  But this salvation is the future salvation – entering into God’s Kingdom.  It is not speaking of the moment of justifying faith.  There is no true justifying faith that is not accompanied by purity of life. 

Fourth, this salvation is not only for the hearers, but the preacher.  He is being saved by God’s word in the same way as the Church is – he is no different. 

Where does that leave us? 

1)  Pastors are to always be vigilant about their lifestyles, examining their lives before God’s word. 

2)  Pastors are to be ever watchful over what is preached, taught, and believed in God’s Church. 

3)  Pastors are to distinguish, yet never separate life from doctrine. 

4)  Pastors are to persist in their watchfulness, because that watchfulness is how people will enter God’s Kingdom. 

5)  Salvation ultimately comes, thus, from God’s word. 

6)  Church members are to submit to the authority of their pastors as examples and teachers – since they’re put in charge to keep watch over our souls. 

7)  Church members are to follow this example – because salvation is found in the word of God. 

Father, I have been lazy in guarding my life against sin.  I’ve not been always vigilant.  I have compromised.  I’ve not lived a life of radical self-evaluation.  I’ve separated life and doctrine – though you do not.  And at times, other things have taken priority in my heart and mind – as if other things were bigger and better than salvation. 

Thank you that the teaching you’ve given us includes the reality that Jesus’ vindication is my vindication.  That through faith you’ve seated us who believe with him in heaven – and we have already been transferred to your kingdom. 

Yet, cause us to be ever vigilant, in light of your saving action. 

Because Jesus died for me, lives for me, and is praying for me, I ask for these things – amen. 

Pastors should be show offs...? 1 Timothy 4:15

Practice these things; immerse yourself in them – so that all will see your progress. 

Paul here commands Pastor Timothy to practice the things he’s just listed.  He’s being very redundant, though.  He’s already emphasized multiple times what Timothy is to be doing as a pastor!  And then he repeats himself again even in this verse! 

Why?  God wants it known to us that pastors are to be focused, single-minded, dedicated, toiling – and living a lifestyle of doing so.  They are to never neglect their charge – but to always be working on it, knowing that rest comes in the word and Sabbath itself now, and in heaven later. 

The words Paul used here indicate a whole pattern of life.  Pastors are to breathe the air of ‘these things.’  This of course begs the question, ‘what are these things?’ 

From chapter 1, preaching sound doctrine so that we’ll live in a way that pleases God – and correcting those who disagree…

From chapter 2, public prayers made, even for enemies, and the learning about and worshiping of God by both men and women in the Church…

From chapter 3, elders and deacons appointed for the sake of guarding God’s Church against false teaching – and nourishing them in love through the Scriptures – as well as service to Christ’s body when there are physical needs…

From chapter 4, warnings against false doctrine and things that contradict the Gospel, a life lived by thinking about the Gospel and by prayer, preaching the Gospel, nourishing himself on the Gospel, and being an example to the Church

Amidst other things – all related to proclaiming the Word of God, and living in a way that reflects belief in the Word of God, being nourished continuously by the Word of God. 

Paul wants to hammer this home!  Pastors must, must, must pay attention.  This is their job – the care of God’s people by God’s word! 

God gives pastors a purpose, in this specific instance, for the command to live in this way – so that all will see the pastor’s ‘progress’ or ‘success.’ 

The progress, I think, Paul has in mind here does not separate Timothy’s ministry abilities from his obedience to God.  The idea is that both flow from his dedication to God’s word – and that God is doing work in Timothy and through Timothy – because of the Bible. 

The ‘progress,’ then, is growth in conformity to God’s Word. 

God wants his people to see the pastor’s growth!  Why? 

We’ve seen in chapter 3 that the office of pastor exists to uphold God’s word.  God wants his word magnified, his name honored – which is the best thing for his people.  It draws us to him! 

And we’ve seen in chapter 4 the opposite of that – a lack of progress can malign God’s word and bring it into disrepute – which is bad for God’s people – and ultimately, dishonors God. 

Paul’s particular command here, then, is for Timothy to be dedicated to the Scriptures – to the Gospel – in both study and proclamation – so that God’s glory will be made known for the good of his people. 

Here are a few observations –

1)  Christian growth, in both life and ministry, comes from God’s word

2)  Pastors especially must be completely immersed in God’s word

3)  Pastors must immerse themselves in God’s word for the sake of God’s glory in the saving of his people. 

4)  God’s word honored is the best thing for God’s people. 

5)  All Christians should follow pastors’ examples – striving for immersion in the Gospel of God for the sake of growth towards God and the glory of God. 

Father, you’re so good to us.  You’ve given salvation in Christ’s rising from the dead!  And you’ve given us the Scriptures so that we can know you, and increase in knowing you.  I confess distraction from your words.  I confess unbelief.  I confess treasuring other things.  I confess seeking you outside of ways that you’ve commanded, namely, your word.  I confess that I haven’t loved your people enough to treasure your word and be immersed in it. 

Father, it sickens me that I’ve treasured other things, spoken more highly of other things, thought higher thoughts of other things – than you in your word. 

I’m an idolater, worthy of hell.  Yet, you’ve justified me in Christ because of your glorious love!  Thank you, my Lord and my God! 

Cause me to be immersed in your word, for my joy, your glory, and the joy of your people.  You are worthy, my God! 

Because of Christ’s death in my place and rising from the dead, I can pray – so be it! 

Don't stop... serving! 1 Timothy 4:14

Do not ever neglect the gift you have, which was given to you through prophecy with the laying on of the elders’ hands. 

Immediately when we read this we’re drawn to the prophecy and laying on of hands.  That makes sense; those things seem other-worldly and out of our experience as believers. 

I’ve already treated the subject in some detail.  See here. 

To sum up, though, it suffices to say that the Apostle Paul, with other pastors, laid hands on Timothy to commission him as a pastor and evangelist, and that when they did, God gave them things to say about Timothy and gave Timothy particular giftings related to preaching and pastoring. 

Such things are not commanded nor described as normative, and the apostles are all dead; therefore, these things are not directly applicable to us. 

That said, there are a good deal of commonalities that our situation has with Timothy’s. 

1)  Every Christian still has a spiritual gift.  See these passages. 

2)  Thus, every Christian is to seek to use their spiritual gifts regularly, never neglecting their use – especially pastors. 

3)  God may not have given prophecy about us or about our pastors; however, the Scriptures describe service to God in every realm of service, for every good work.  As Paul here reminded Timothy of the prophecies made about him to give him strength to persevere in service, we must gather strength from what the Scriptures say about service for our perseverance in our service. 

4)  The elders commissioned their fellow elder, Timothy.  The roles of pastor and deacon, we see, and thus other roles Scripture mentions (like evangelist), should be roles that the local church decides – not the individual by himself. 

Some questions must then be asked. 

1)  Are you seeking to regularly operate in your gifting? 

2)  If you don’t know what your giftings are, are you regularly serving so that you can find out what they are?  If you’ve not regularly served, you probably have no idea what your gifts are. 

3)  Do you gather strength and courage from the Scriptures to operate according to your gifting?  Or are you depending on your own abilities? 

4)  If you’re in full time ministry, have you been sent by the elders of a local church? 

5)  Are you living in submission to the elders of your local church?

Father, I confess to you that I sometimes avoid serving according to my gifts because I’m tired, lazy – and sometimes because service is difficult and taxing.  I confess that I often rely on my own ‘track record’, abilities, and strength to serve you when I do – as if the building up of your Church was by my strength – not Christ’s.  I confess to you that I’ve not feasted on the Scriptures for the sake of your public glorification. 

I confess that by my self-dependence, I’ve made a god of myself and forgotten you. 

Thank you for the forgiveness purchased in Christ’s cross for me, and the justification secured in his resurrection!  His work is perfect and has perfected all his sheep.  Thank you for giving us gifts to joyfully serve you.  Thank you for the gifts you’ve given others so that we can know you more fully.  Thank you for the opportunity to serve you, and thus, to be relationally connected to you.  Thank you for the Scriptures, in which you remind us of your great power towards us who believe – of your Spirit who gives not only salvation, but strength to serve you.  Thank you for appointing the office of pastor so that we can be served well from your word – reminded every Lord’s Day of the great salvation you’ve given us through Jesus. 

Cause me and your people to gather strength from the Bible, be reminded of all you’ve done for us in Christ and given us in the Spirit, and to move forward, relentlessly serving you, because the time is short.  Strengthen us to proclaim your glory throughout this world! 

In Christ Jesus I pray,

Amen. 

Interesting Study about Facebook

See it here.  (HT: Tim Challies) 

Thoughts? 

I wonder if those numbers are really any different for young men.  Obviously the study was done by Oxygen and so was interested in women. 

I think it's a good reminder that things that are innocent can easily be made into idols.  See John Piper's article about Twitter here. 

"Be filled with the Spirit"

Here's what Graham Cole, of Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, says that means.  (From Justin Taylor's blog)

We are commanded to “be filled with the Spirit” (Eph. 5:18). How do we do that?
A great question!
The first thing to notice is that Ephesians 5:18 is addressed to a congregation.
Next, it may be translated “Be filled by the Spirit!” In fact, in context Paul is contrasting the sort of behaviors you see in a pagan assembly (e.g., drunkenness) and what is to characterize a Christian one (e.g., making melody in your [plural] heart [singular] to the Lord and submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ).
In my view, it is not about power for service for the individual. We obey this command when our Christian meeting is filled by the Spirit with these kinds of practices. Then we truly are the temple of the Holy Spirit that Paul speaks of in Ephesians 2.
However, Paul specifies no steps. So what’s the way forward? I suggest Acts 4 provides a paradigm case. These early Christians gathered in the face of persecution and prayed for boldness to proclaim the gospel. Interestingly they did not pray to be filled with the Spirit. And what did God do? He filled them with the Spirit and they spoke boldly indeed. So I would counsel if you want to be filled with the Spirit, set your heart and life prayerfully on the next step of Christian faith and obedience and you will be filled with the Spirit.
Back to Ephesians 5. When we as a congregation prayerfully fill our meeting with the practices set out in Ephesians 5:19-21 we can trust that our assembly really is the temple of the Spirit. In these practices the focus shifts from me to the Lord, and my brothers and sisters.

Questions to turn a conversation to the Gospel

article here. 

Thanks to Challies for the link